GOING BACK / LOOKING FOR BIRTH PARENTS
Going back is not an easy decision to make.
If you are interested, please take a look at the resources we have compiled to help anyone who is considering going back whether it be on holiday or in search of their birth family.
IMPRESSION OF HAVING VISITED CHINA
"It was supposed to be a big moment, but I felt nothing".
THERE IS A 5% SUCCESS RATE OF CHINESE ADOPTEES FINDING THEIR BIRTH PARENTS
I reunited with my birth parents aged 18. It was not an easy decision to make and while it answered many unanswered questions that had dogged me throughout my childhood, it opened the door to many more. It was a huge shock which left me reeling for a good four years afterwards, but one I do not regret.
IT IS WELL WORTH INVESTING IN A SPECIALIST TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR SEARCH.
When applying for a visa be prepared for them to ask for EVERY bit of documentation you have.
It is worth making posters to help advertise your search. However, it is good to hold a few key details back in order to help weed out false claims.
If you can find a local to help broadcast your search on WeChat, you will reach far more people this way.
If anyone has any questions, I would be happy to answer. Please reach out in anyway you feel most comfortable.
"During the 3 1/2 years of jumping through the hoops of British social services and waiting for the Chinese to match us with a baby - never a quick process - I had focused relentlessly on my goal of having a family through adoption".
Going back can be a daunting process. It is well worth taking the time to talk to a professional before going back to discuss what you want to get out of your trip and to accept that your trip might not be successful or yield the results you were looking for.
Have a good support system to help you process the results of the trip?
Prepared to deal with the emotional stress and time this venture might take?
Decided what sort of relationship you might want to have with your birth parents? It is good to establish boundaries early on.
ON GOING BACK - HANNAH
"Yeah, I’d like to go back and visit China sometime, although it would be for some kind of tourist or educational purpose as opposed to birth search or the like…I don’t think I’m quite ready for that. The last time I went to China was when I was 10, so going back now would mean a whole lot more than just a holiday and would hopefully appreciate the culture and heritage more. My main concern would definitely be communication. Looking Chinese (partly) but not being able to speak the language would be quite confusing for both parties. I have been studying Mandarin for a little bit on the side of my degree, but I am nowhere near a decent conversation!"
"I woud like to go back as an adult for myself but I’m not sure if I would pursue a birth search. Some days I feel like I would be ready and then other days I feel like I wouldn’t be able to even take the first step in that direction. In the long run, I would consider living there for a year or two, to emerse myself in the culture and everyday life. It would be a way to slowly ease myself into the idea of looking for my birth family but at the same time I feel that I have a sense of urgency in the back of my head, like an hour-glass running out of time as I get older. It’s an internal conflict I go back and forth with."
ON GOING BACK - ADDIE